The perfect itinerary....suicidal thoughts :)

This is NOT, like in NO POSSIBLE WAY politically correct

but nevertheless, funny.

That is, if you have some sort of black humor.

Otherwise, I strongly advise to not keep on reading but instead visit the following sites:
everything_is_happy_and_awesome.com
this_is_a_perfect_world_without_any_problems.com
or: iwilljustshutmyeyesandpretendnothinghashappened.com

for the other people: Enjoy!

General disclaimer:
I take no responsibilty for this travel plan. Nor for anyone actually following it. Nor for anything happening to the person while doing all this stupid stuff.

So, you pretend that you have to do each task in one day...


1.) travelling through Russia on the trans-siberian (the normal train, not the tourist version) with a million dollars
2.) becoming an independent journalist in China
3.) visiting the tigers in Sri Lanka
4.) hugging a Komodo dragon in Indonesia (if you don't die from their smell alone)
5.) Trying to experience North Korea on your own
6.) climbing on Ayer's Rock/Uluru
7.) visiting in Suu Kyi Myanmar/Burma
8.) trying to become friendly with monkeys in India
9.) Free Swat valley in Pakistan
10.) Do Military Service in Afghanistan
11.) Become a member of the resistance against the current president in Iran
12.) Become homosexual in Saudi Arabia
13.)Work as a pirate in Somalia
14.) be a christian missionary in the northern regions of Yemen
15.) Look for a Diamond on the Ivory Coast
16.) Be a soldier in Chad
17.) Be a tourist at the wrong time/wrong place in Egypt
18.) Ask a lion to compete with you: Who's faster?...
19.) Fly to Tanzania with Yemenia Airlines
20.) Found a group to make kongo a belgian colony again
21.)Become a guide in Peru and lead tourists to Macchu Picchu by fog
22.) Ask to be admitted to the Maras in Honduras, El Salvador or Guatemala
22.a) ... or just be the president of Honduras
23.) live in the favelas in Brazil while guarding a million euros...
24.) open a cocaine farm
25.) Try to smuggle people over the border from Mexico to Texas (Who wants to go to texas anyways?!)
26.) be in Texas
27.) Become a hollywoodstar (loose weight like crazy, take a lot of drugs, dring a lot of alcohol and get into fights with paparazzos.... )
28.) try to eat Iowa's largest potato
29.) become a member of the Amish and try to introduce them to the new lamborghini
30.) ride a horse in montana
31.) wear expensive clothes and talk loudly about your fortune in NYC, even when walking home through creepy neighborhoods late at night
32.) go salmon fishing in Canada
33.) hug a bear there too
34.) study theology in Greenland (see my Amsterdam blog for more information about greenland...)
35.) be a bank in iceland
36.) try to immigrate to Great Britian by boat
37.) live in the outer districts of Paris
38.) become a bull fighter in Spain
39.) be a bank in Liechtenstein
40.) drive with a cab in Amsterdam
41.) become a Hartz IV recepient in Germany
42.) join the communist forces in Tuscany, Italy
43.) drink self made Vodka in Poland
44.) be jewish in Hungary
45.) visit Kazakhstan dressed up as borat
46.) Become a member of naked hiking in Switzerland
47.) visit a cellar in Austria